Be Be Your Love October 19, 2007
Posted by kclancy in autumn in the air, tornado drills.add a comment
Autumn is in the air. It’s finally that time. The leaves are changing, the air becomes chilled and crisp, and October is in full bloom. Oh how I love the changing of seasons. It probably says something about me that I only really enjoy the seasons in transition to their fullest. I think the surprise and enchantment of a beautifully chilly/warm day is just superb in comparison to an expectedly sticky-humid or frigidly-cold day.
Just finished writing a ten page paper on the similarities and differences of the South Africa and Northern Ireland conflicts and how these aided or hindered movements towards peace in each region. And I’ve found that there is one benefit to locking yourself up in a mini-cubicle at the library for almost twelve hours – you leave with a definite sense of accomplishment. Even if what you have accomplished doesnt nearly compare to what you could have if wireless internet and Facebook didn’t exist, you still feel like you must have achieved something for spending that absurd amount of time there. I think there’s a whole sub-culture of people at the library in the wee hours of the morning too. Staying in the one computer cluster for so long, I was able to see people come and go. But those of us who stayed the longest (and we knew who we were), formed a whole different group of people. It was a late-night/early-morning library brotherhood, trust me.
Anyway, another benefit of locking yourself away in a library for a significant number of hours is that anything other than being in a library feels like sweet, sweet freedom. Even if it involves missing the hour-long Office episode because you have to hide in your dorm’s tornado shelter after sirens sound out on campus. Even the dining hall food tastes a little sweeter once the burden of an individual research paper has been lifted from your shoulders.
My friday schedule’s looking pretty bonkers - 9:35-10:25 class, 10:25-11:00 hand in paper and shop in bookstore, 11-11:45 lunch, 11:45-1:30 tour, 1:30-2 potato sushi, 2:00ish meeting for haunted tour, 5:oo walkover to rally, and then….done!
Hm…the new Jimmy Eat World album needs work.
Love.
If The Breakman Turns My Way October 16, 2007
Posted by kclancy in friendship for dummies, procrastination.add a comment
So I believe I’m at a standstill right now when it comes to relationships. Not just boy relationships, I mean real ones with friends and family too. And I feel like what I really need right now is a realtionship rejuvenation with alot of people. Actually, what I really need to be doing right now is working on my ten page paper and studying for my three midterms this week. But let’s leave that aside for a minute.
I wish there was some type of concrete way to go about achieving this rejuevnation with people. I just feel like there are alot of relationships that need a jolt or a zap to get them back into place. I’ve never been very good at repairing damages, my forte has moreso lied in just leaving the pieces where they lie and if they come back together, than so be it – and if they don’t, then so be that too.
It’s not that I’m going through some sort of crisis with anything or anyone right now. It’s just a general feeling that I have about things. Too many of my friendships/familyships arent deep enough. Alot of this just has to do with me being at school and unable to keep contact alot, but it’s really something I’d love to fix somehow. Shouldn’t they have a ‘for dummies’ book about this?
Love.
Caring is Creepy October 15, 2007
Posted by kclancy in backup college, birthday resolutions, dryden.add a comment
So it’s offical – I’ve existed for two decades now.
And even though I’ve already mentioned this about 5,000 times in the past week, I feel the need to elaborate further and truly explore what it means to be this new and matured age of twenty years old.
I really think that birthdays should be a fresh start. Why do we put all the pressure on New Year’s for resolutions and losing weight and quitting smoking and going to the gym? It’s too much for one day to handle the billions of people who want to start over just because the calendar day changes to 01/01.
So my theory is that everyone should use their birthday as their own personal new year’s day, to rejuvenate and refresh – to look back on the year past (or just as quickly look forward to forgetting that one and starting a new one) and think about the things to come. Putting it on your own date of birth adds a bit of personality to it too. Plus, I think it has the potential to be extremely trendy. No one wants to hear about another New Year’s resolution. But a birthday resolution? Now that sounds interesting.
So here’s my birthday resolution. In my twentieth year I resolve to:
- solve world hunger (who said some of these can’t be lofty)
- actually just do my part in helping to solve world hunger and poverty
- make a kickass travel journal when I study abroad in Ireland (and a kickass scrapbook to accompany it upon return)
- take some fabulous pictures (with my hopefully new digital camera)
- eat a bit better, exercise a bit better, drink a bit more water, get a bit more healthy
- become too much of a hipster for my own good
- write at least one short story a month
- listen to brand new up and coming music and also find some oldies to appreciate (see “hipster” above)
- read, read, read – new stuff, old stuff, classics, biographies, inspirations <- goodreads.com
Okay that’s enough for the resolutions – there’s only so much a girl can handle.
In real life news, the girls threw a party for me on Friday night which was really nice, considering I was almost convinced everyone had forgotten about it. And then we lost to BC, but because it was my birthday we decided to put up a fight instead of just let them walk all over us like the last home game.
Time to go bog down my brain with British Literature – oh that Dryden, what a character.
Love.
Books From Boxes October 10, 2007
Posted by kclancy in 525600 x 20, 80s baby, double decades, getting my college-party on, harold crick.add a comment
A-Ha! I bet you (oh faithful, non-existant reader) thought that I had again lapsed and was not going to follow through with my goal of daily journal entries. Well, while it is true that I did have a bit of a lapse that’s only because I was busy getting my college-party on this weekend, not because I’ve forgotten about my dear, little wordpress.
This week and the next are two of those wonderful ‘ohjeesuschristeverything’scomingtogetherallatonceandthere’snowaytogetitalldone’ adventures where you’re left scrambling for every bit of free-time and sanity you can get. Good thing I’m spending time writing a wordpress entry instead of using the time I have efficiently 
So I turn 20 on Saturday…when did that happen? Have I really existed for two decades? And if so, what have I really done over these past 525,600 x 20 minutes? I guess there was that whole business of self-development, getting educated and actually forming my own individual, and dare I say quite remarkably witty, personality. But really, I’d better get my act together over the next 20. Wow so I just realized I’m halfway to 40…what a sad and horrible thought. Okay, enough birthday talk.
Just got back from office hours with my philo prof, to go over my paper on “Stranger than Fiction.” I totally fell in love with the movie after viewing it a second time, and so far it’s been a good thesis-creating and paper-writing experience. I can’t wait to rewatch the movie and pick up on even more things. So I’m excited about writing this paper, good thing I chose that English major.
Love.
Still Aging October 5, 2007
Posted by kclancy in discovery, hot pink, stranger than fiction.add a comment
Things that Make Life Better (in no particular order)
- hot pink starbucks mugs
- stranger than fiction movie watches
- twinkle lights
- the ‘moon river’ scene from breakfast at tiffany’s
So last night I discovered the beauty of the ‘breakfast at tiffany’s’ soundtrack. It’s really nothing more than discovering something for myself which has in actuality existed for decades now. But it just got me thinking about the wonderfulness of things like that. About how there are just so many things in the world to find out, to discover, to enjoy. And little do you know when they’re going to pop up and bring some happiness into your life. One thing that worries me about graduating, besides my entire world being thrown upside down, is missing out on discoveries like that. I don’t ever want to live my life without the wonderful education and self-examination that happens at college. I know everyone can make it happen if they want it to, but I also know how easy it is to get sucked into the everyday rut of life. (Note to self: never get sucked into that rut.)
Anyway, we watched Stranger Than Fiction for philosophy today. What a really really great movie. I want to be able to write a story like that, with characters like that. It’s just entirely overwhelming how brilliant the whole thing is – the themes and the metaphors and the characterization. I just soaked that all in. It was pretty great.
I also got to thinking about relationships today. How subjective they all are, and how they move from the subjective to the objective, yet they’re still subjective. I’m pretty sure that makes no sense. But I just think it’s funny how everything works out in the end – not that it’s funny that everything does, because everything doesn’t – but the process of how it happens. It’s rather humorous. Damn, I’m good at being discreet.
Love.
Breakfast at Tiffany’s October 4, 2007
Posted by kclancy in the dunk, words that carry on.add a comment
So last night, I decided to start the process of saving all of my 10th-11th grade deadjournal phase entries onto a word doc so nothing gets lost, and future generations can marvel at the emo-ness of it all.
It got me thinking, though, about how often times its only words that survive to define how a person lived his or her life. Anne Frank’s diary, William Blake’s poems and imagery that we’ve been studying in Brit Lit, even just scrapbooks or journals that are passed on generation to generation. Then I realized that, if the scope of how I lived my life and who I was, was determined by my writings up until this point, the outcome would fall just a tiny bit short. It would be one year’s worth of ramblings about a boy who introduced me to the life of an emo, essays ranging from portuguese literature in translation to thematic examinations of conflict solutions in impovershed countries.
Not to say that those texts don’t have any meaning in my life at all. The deadjournal at least shows a marked improvement from then, until now, in my use of punctuation and in my decision not to write ‘lol’ after every other sentence. But what a sad thought that this would be all that is documented of me as a person.
Which is a huge part of the reason I started this whole thing in the first place. Plus, I’ve created a bit of ambience out of it lately. Sitting here, under the twinkle lights taped up around the loft, the breakfast at tiffany’s soundtrack playing in the background, a hot cup of sweetmilktea to my right. My little own haven to write about…whatever I want, really.
So here’s to random thoughts, and noteworthy thoughts, and thoughts that make you think (as any good thought should, really.)
Love.
P.S. In other news, my brother Jimmy is a fight-ah. At the age of nine, he went through surgery on his leg like a true champ. It was delayed five hours, and all he worried about was when he was going to get more jello. Maybe someday I’ll be as cool as this kid.
I’m Psyched October 3, 2007
Posted by kclancy in angry irish words, it turns out i'm old now.add a comment
Remember that stress I said seemed to be missing from my life?
It decided to make a *hopefully*one-night-only comeback performance. Wee.
It’s funny how last year my stress revolved around class work, entirely. It was pretty much all a balance of schedules and schoolwork. Figuring out how to get my five page paper done when I was spending two hours of my day off campus teaching kids how to solve conflicts non-violently.
This year my stress is so much more than that. It’s all these real life issues. Living in another country. Credit card debt. Savings accounts. Passports. Immunizations. Expense Reports. Did I mention living in another country? Just when did I become so old, anyway?
I’m usually fine, until I get in entirely over my head. Which is one of the moments I’m having now. Which is why I’m not studying for my Irish quiz tomorrow. Which is why she’ll probably have some more things to say about my sub-par performance.
Ehh, pog mo thon.
Pink Moon October 2, 2007
Posted by kclancy in love.Tags: autumn, college, long island, memories, transition
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Nick Drake makes pretty music.
Today it rained – so I decided that it’s really just a “prep for ireland 101″ opportunity to get used to some cloudy, rainy wonderland where I’ll be spending the next four months, come january. It’s always harder to get up on rainy days though. If only it wasn’t so much easier to cuddle up under some blankets and listen to jack johnson sing about banana pancakes.
Philosophy was over my head once again. So much for enjoying anything about existentialism. Maybe if I did all the readings I’d be more interested, but I really doubt it. Our grad student prof is just way too in-over-his-head to be able to help us non-philoers out.
Irish was bearable. Until she announced that we have a quiz on Weds now to make up for us all doing so poorly on the grammar part of our test last week. Maybe, just maybe it had something to do with the 60 words of vocab we had to memorize. Then again, who doesn’t want to know hat ufonna means UFO in irish?
Fiction writing - what to do, what to do about that class. I really do want to be a great fiction writer. How amazing would it be to be able to write for a living? But to no avail, I’ve only gotten mediocre grades so far. There are a couple of people in that class too, who I’m just in awe of as far as talent for writing goes. We’ll see how meeting with her during office hours goes. It’s really interesting because this is the first class I’ve had in awhile that is solely artistic and I always walk away feeling like I need to do something with myself, artistically – to make some sort of statement while I can or when I have the time. It’s nice, too, to break away from all the reading and the analyzing and just focus on the creativity for awhile.
Today was one of those days where I wanted to just zap home for two seconds, and zap right back to Notre Dame. Just long enough to soak up the homeyness of home – to boil some water for tea, to soak up the autumn air outside, and get a great big hug from my grandma. Maybe the span of a day or so. I find during times like that, tea helps. Which sounds….ridiculous, and way too Irish for my own good. All those times when I was little, at family functions, it always ended with a cup of tea. My mom would make what she always called warm milk – leave the teabag in for about two seconds, fill it halfway with milk and let me add way too much sugar. So now I make this concoction of sweetmilktea whenever I’m on campus and need a little pick me up.
It’s funny how things like that can just transcend. Well actually, it’s not just funny, it’s pretty wonderful. There are just some items in life, some things that can bring you back to a good place because they’re virtually the same everywhere. It doesn’t even have to be something like tea, I’m talking about the grand scheme of things too. Really great relationships fall into this category too – friendships and family. I just love how there are some things you can count on, no matter where your two feet are planted.
Love.
brandy alexander October 1, 2007
Posted by kclancy in daily habits, notre dame.add a comment
Hey surprise, surprise – over six weeks have passed with no one entry.
But I figure I’d better change my non-blogging ways now so I can be in the habit when I go to Ireland - that way I can document all my Dublinocities to the tee. Brilliant.
The semester has gone surprisingly well so far. I feel alot less stressed than I would have ever anticipated. Almost to the point where it feels like I’m doing something wrong because I dont have more to do at any given point. But I’m sure that’ll all change in the span of one day and all of a sudden my life will be crazy go nuts stressed, as seems to be the way things happen in college.
Today was just one of those beautiful days on campus – the sun was shining, and the temperature was the perfect spring breeze setting – loved it. Woke up at 1, which is amazingly something I’ve only done like one other time this semester so far. Brunched with Zy and Jane, and discovered the amazing taste sensation of apple cinnamon waffles. Then I read these really witty and brilliant fiction stories outside by the volleyball courts. This one in particular just stuck with me. It was just so wonderfully written, I wanted to read it again right after I was done. That’s what I love about new fiction short stories – they can be so so good, and so fun to discover – like a great little indie movie, or an upcoming singer/songwriter. Then I cleaned, which I bizarrely don’t mind doing in college. Gossip Girl and ANTM made up the TV for the night.
Then tonight was the Mod Quad basilica mass so I brought up the gifts at mass. Lately, it seems more and more that I find myself analyzing religious norms and culture and my background in general when I’m at mass. Not that that’s a bad thing – in fact, I think it’s quite a good thing. It’s just really interesting to think back over all the things in my life that I just took forgranted having gone to Catholic school my entire life. I still feel like I’m somewhere in the middle – not ready to profess my faith and have a strong conviction like alot of the faith groups on campus, but definitely not ready to denounce religious institution or a belief in God. Right now I’m just riding the in-the-middle train.
Anyway, I suppose it’s time to get to bed so I can go waste some time in existentialism tomorrow, fake some pronunciation skills in Irish and listen to other people’s short stories in creative writing – is this really my junior year of college? hah.
